And if you are a performer, you need to read this...
With numb faces, red eyes, and sore cheekbones, we have just returned from Joan Rivers' tour-de-force performance at the Music Center at Strathmore, in North Bethesda, MD. She is one of the funniest people in the world to me. There is a shortlist of maybe four comedians, living or dead, who can make me laugh at any time of the day no matter how I am feeling. Margaret Cho, Ellen DeGeneres, Joan Rivers, and - more recently - Chelsea Handler. While they all have markedly different comedic styles, I have noticed some common threads in their work; threads that I can personally identify with in a very strong way.
The first is an intrinsic sense of somehow being the outsider in life - the underdog - with overarching themes and experiences in your daily round that constantly whisper into your ear telling you that, at least metaphorically speaking, you are definitely NOT sitting at the "cool table." And try as you might to fit in so you'll be accepted, the fashionable, popular people are always going to be rolling their eyes at you.
The second common thread I have noticed is their absolute love of being onstage, and the love of the craft of their work. These are people who are doing what they do - at the highest levels possible - and they would be doing it whether before five people in a community center in Duluth, or before 4,000 people at a sold out performance in one of the wealthiest theater communities in the United States, as Joan Rivers did tonight. They are out there doing it because they LOVE it.
But the most important part of this equation, for me, is that they were all doing it before they had success and before they had money. My learning curve right now, which seems to be curving around the following - to do what I love to do (singing and sharing music) without the foundational, stabilizing things that fame provides (total personal financial security, an agent, a manager, a TOUR manager, a publicist, having a name that guarantees a paying audience, etc., etc.) - is actually very, very, very difficult.
Even though I love it more than anything, creating an artistic structure for my life right now with no guarantees of bookings, or travel, or money, or - the dreaded word: FAME, is testing everything I believe about my work ethic, and about my purpose in my own world. Do I want to sing because I want to be famous? How important are wealth and fame? Is it acceptable to be well-known and to have a loyal following and NOT be a rock star, but still make a great living and be financially stable? I say YES to that. There is so much balance, and so much good in this, that it simply can't go wrong. It can only expand to the limits of my imagination. So I am answering these existential questions, and I am trying to move onto the singing part! Just like Margaret, Ellen, Joan, and Chelsea had to just get on with it and get out onstage, because onstage, they are home.
During the encore section of her program, Joan Rivers told a moving anecdote of a recent conversation she had. She, charmingly, has a three-way conference call with Cher, and Kathy Griffin, every single day! And they hang out at Cher's place whenever the three of them are in Malibu at the same time. So fun!
They were having one of their three-way conference calls and Joan said to Cher, "Should I retire? Everyone is saying I should retire soon. What do you think?"
And Cher, in her inimitable manner said, "Joan. We do not retire. We PERFORM. That's what we do. We perform."
The audience loved it. Apparently, the retelling of the story made Joan a little emotional, and with tears in her eyes and a barely perceptible quiver in her voice, she said to us, "You all are a wonderful audience. Thank you so much for letting me get up here and have a night of doing what I LOVE to do. PERFORM!"
The audience erupted, of course. But Robert, my mom, and I sat leaning forward, hands folded under our chins, elbows propped on our knees. Robert and I both said, in our infamously pensive manner, "Wow," which is actually a long and drawn out, "WOOOOOOW," which also usually includes watery eyes and a very distinct "how-to-process-this?" expression over and about the head and face, and the knowledge that existential thoughts are astir and swiftly forthcoming! We, the audience, were hurling accolades across the footlights and she was thanking us for allowing her to do what she most loves to do. There was something so balancing about that moment, and I thought to myself, "YES."
I come away from this concert feeling less like an outsider, less like an underdog, and much more, in fact, like I am at the cool table of my life. I have people - COOL PEOPLE! - who not only love and support my work, but also love and support ME. And now I have an extra kick in the pants to get behind a microphone and sing, to reach out to my 'oh so cool' fans in new ways, and to make my musical rise a collaborative affair with the loyal people who have helped get me this far.
ONWARD AND UPWARD WE GO!!! Together.
Much love, ~C
Enjoy this short video of before and after the performance:
Photos of Joan Rivers
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